the two “P” words….

Can you think of two words that start with “p” and fit together perfectly?

And no, all you innately sexual creatures, once again, I am not thinking of “that”. Remember, I told you before, this is not the place for sexually wanton writing, yet somehow ever since I said that, innuendo continues to appear.

The two seldom verbalized or admitted, but often practiced words, are the reason I have been away from my blog the last seventeen days. Of course I’m referring to procrastination and perfectionism. Usually when I am away from my blog for awhile it is because of one or the other, or both.

Recently I wrote a 2500 word short story for a timed international writing contest, NYC Midnight. One of my Underground Writing Cohort friends had tempted me to give it a whirl. I had a week to complete and submit the story after being assigned a genre, character, and a specific subject to be included.

Thanks to doing the story for the contest I became more self-aware. I discovered I can procrastinate perfectly. I never considered myself a perfectionist before. I now realized I was obviously wrong.

To be fair, the first three days I did have a migraine headache. Apparently people who have Sjogren’s are also prone to migraines at a more frequent rate than other migraine sufferers; hooray for us. Mine start by feeling like a vague sinus headache then build up to full frontal facial pain for three days. Needless to say pain encompassing my entire face is not conducive to my creative pursuits. So, right off the get go I was down to four days.

While I wasn’t sitting at my computer typing out my story I WAS doing what I do best – writing the story in my head. I told Mr. Wanton it would be extremely helpful to me if he, of technological expertise and mechanical invention, could possibly come up with something that could transcribe my thoughts automatically into a word document on my computer. You know, like verbal word transcription, but for my thoughts. He said “that is a bad, bad, idea.” What does he know? Oh yah, I usually tell him what I am thinking. Perhaps his opinion is of value in this instance.

Upon the end of the headache I should have been ready to type up my story, right? Wrong. For the next few days I proceeded to attack my long lost to-do list with a vengeance – the one that sits permanently on my desk, with items dating back to 1999, not all of which are crossed off yet.

Wow – more self-awareness – if I wanted to finally accomplish my least appealing tasks, the long overdue “leftovers” on my to-do list, all I had to do is commit myself to something I wanted to do even less, in this case the short story.

Perfect. I could put off the short story writing, not feeling guilty whatsoever, because I was getting lots of other stuff done. You know, important stuff – like organize my panties and socks, look up random symptoms via Google, watch Adele and Bruno Mars “Careoke” videos on YouTube repeatedly (okay, admittedly that wasn’t on my to-do list but in hindsight it should have been). I accidentally discovered the most seriously underrated motivational technique for overcoming procrastination ever.

So that brings me to this moment. How did I get over my procrastination to write a blog post today? Easy answer, the alternative was the now top priority item on my to-do list – personal income tax. Uh-huh, I definitely found what I can do perfectly every time.

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P.S. In case you are curious, I did complete the short story in eight hours on the seventh day, well before the midnight deadline.

Brady Bunch House meets Playboy Mansion circa 1971

Tonight my hubby and I went to a real estate open house near where we live. The listed property is a private residence of almost 6000 sq. ft living space, with adjacent metal walled shop on 5 acre gorgeously treed and landscaped lake frontage yard.

The home was built in 1971. It would make an ideal movie set as it appears absolutely untouched since 1971! Was kind of like walking in to the Brady Bunch house meets the Playboy Mansion circa 1971. There was even original furniture from the 70s that comes with! But wait there’s more….a stereo with an 8 track! Now how’s that for an irresistible deal?

Okay, I just lied. Maybe one thing was redone since 1971 and that would be the flooring. It was definitely missing the orange, green, and/or gold shag carpet, but trust me that was the only thing not original.

My husband said if the realtor asked why we came , he was going to say “because my wife wanted to have 70s flashbacks”. I do admit it. I did enjoy the 70s!

Being priced at nearly a million dollars and requiring tens of thousands of dollars in interior renovations I find it doubtful that a private home buyer will come along to empty their pockets on renovating 6000 sq. ft.  The home has been on the market for several years already.

While perusing the house along with a couple dozen other “Looky- Lou’s”, I did mention several times that it was in the perfect location just off a major highway,  near outskirts of town, overlooking the lake (it even faces the sunsets!) for a fabulous (and I do mean fabulous darling!) restaurant.

As we drove home I continued to brainstorm several other potential ideas for the flashback house , as my husband and I now refer to it. I could not resist the urge to e-mail the real estate agent when we arrived back home:

Good evening Ms. Realtor,

It was very interesting to view the “Flashback” residence.

The house would require so many renovations to update it, I wonder how viable it is to sell as a private residence.

Perhaps the County should be consulted as to possible rezoning to “commercial”, as that might enable you to market it to a different type of potential purchaser.

My mind really got rolling when I started seeing it as a commercial property. I was completely serious when I said it would make a fabulous upscale restaurant with downstairs lounge….”Bellisima’s by the Lake” perhaps?  (Bellisima being the now deceased former original owner’s name.)

I think they missed the boat (no pun intended) with adjacent Corbin House by making it too small and without a kitchen, in such a great spot on the lake yet next to the highway and town. Does the Pike Lake Recreation Society (or whatever it is) that looks after Corbin House and the campground possibly see the potential in acquiring the neighbouring property? The house could be renovated into an event centre/ larger banquet facility / restaurant / bed & breakfast or combination thereof. Additionally, the shop if fixed up could be used in place of the tents that currently need to be set up next to Corbin House for special events. It could even be set up more formally as a “summer hall” with stage and seating for weddings, convention  / company bbqs, and concerts.

I actually was also serious when I told my husband it would make a great “Gentleman’s Club” as it is in a private location, very discrete.

(Did not tell realtor this, as I did not want her to think I was totally wacko but I thought an appropriate name for a Gentleman’s club staying true to the fur trading roots of the area might be “The Fur Trader”. Then on second thought, we do live in the era of the bikini wax so perhaps not as apropos as I initially thought. Hmmm…what about “The Beaver Lodge”?)

Or what about a private club such as the “Petroleum Club”  where people pay to join , then have access to the facilities whatever they might be such as meeting rooms / lounge / restaurant / spa.

Given the privacy and grounds it would also make a fabulous artists colony/ retreat centre where artists, visual artists / writers / musicians, could come rent room and board with studio space for weeks or months at a time to create.

As you can tell I have lots of vision. Sadly, no cash.

Good luck with your efforts to sell this diamond in the rough!

NOTE:

All of the names  / locations have been changed for purposes of this blog. If however you have lots of cash and need vision, contact me! I will tell you where it is. 060 😉